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thebat-musicman · 2 months ago
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9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!
Bruce:
Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.
Bruce: *clap clap*
———
12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!
Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!
Jason: HEY! YOU!
Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.
Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.
———
13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?
Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-
Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.
———
Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.
Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.
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canonkiller · 1 year ago
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but you can't keep holding on like this.
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foxdoodles · 9 months ago
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such a thing as freedom
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tremordusk · 8 days ago
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Billy: So if you were the mother…who was Nicky’s Dad?
Agatha: He didn’t have one. I made him myself, similar to how your mother made you.
Billy: Oh…with magic?
Agatha: Yes
Rio: Actually I’m Nicky’s Father
Agatha: No you’re not
Rio: I was there
Billy: How?
Agatha: DON’T—
Rio: WHEN AGATHA AND I REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER—
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morganbritton132 · 2 months ago
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One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.
Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”
Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”
A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.”
“It kinda is. Did you do it?”
“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”
“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”
The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.
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diornies · 1 year ago
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Suddenly, it's December by margaux paul
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palatinewolfsblog · 7 months ago
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"Fairytales don't tell children that dragons exist.
Children already know that dragons exist.
Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed."
G.K. Chesterton.
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everwalldigan · 5 months ago
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Dick:(looking away slightly guilty) did you know I didn’t come to your funeral? Bruce didn’t tell me
Jason:
Jason: (shrugs) well there’s always the next one
Dick: I-
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batfamhastwitter · 3 months ago
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Part 10! Had to take a break from the Q&A since the Olympics is wrapping up and I really wanted to include this bit before it's over!
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
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o0kawaii0o · 6 months ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING 🗣🗣🗣
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metamorphesque · 4 months ago
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"I love you", Husik Ara (translated by Tathev Simonyan)
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fanaticalthings · 6 months ago
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
----
Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
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Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
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Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss off Bruce-
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[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
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arunneronthird · 1 year ago
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imagine being a gotham villain just living a peaceful life and suddenly here comes a vigilante with an actual gun
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yooo-lets-go · 5 months ago
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Not made to last
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stardustemotions · 1 year ago
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I used to think communication was the key until I realized, comprehension is. You can communicate all you want with someone but if they don't understand you, it's silent chaos.
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backofthebookshelf · 1 year ago
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I know I'm a week late but I do think people are misunderstanding the point of the Anthony Bourdain quote about Kissinger
The point was never "Anthony Bourdain has good politics and is an unproblematic fave," the point is that even someone with mainstream liberalish politics who goes to Cambodia for a food tour - a, let's be honest, very bougie type of trip to be part of your job - and has a basic understanding of history and a bare minimum of human decency can come away from that bougie food tour wanting to murder Henry Kissinger with their bare hands. The point is that Henry Kissinger fucked up this country so bad the only reason he wasn't lynched decades ago is because it's on the opposite side of the world and the people who were in proximity to him never really saw what it was. The point is that if we could see firsthand what our First World politics do to the Third World we would understand that monsters walk among us and it's a cultural failing that we let them die at home at 100 years old surrounded by their friends and family.
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